What Wives Wish Their Husbands Knew About Women

If you have been keeping up with the last few post then you know that we have already established that men and women are very different.

Understanding your wife’s differences is one of the keys to a happy and successful marriage. Your differences should be celebrated because that is what brings you together in marriage. You wife wants you to know that she is different and that she is not just, “one of the guys.”

There are some other key things that we as men need to know about women and their differences? I’ve got 3 things I want to briefly touch on.

Men, here is what your wife wishes you knew.

1) Women have a deep need for effective communication. They need to feel listened to.

John Gray says that “As a marriage counselor, the number one complaint he hears from women who come to see him is “My husband does not listen to me.”

Women primarily communicate to build relationships. They talk about feelings and emotions openly and find that talking about problems helps them feel better and helps them work things through. When they share problems, they want a sympathetic ear. They don’t want a solution.

A common mistake that men make is to try to provide a solution to our wife’s problems when she is sharing because for men, communication is very different. For Men, communication is a tool for solving problems. If you have a problem, you solve it yourself if you can, and if you can’t you talk about it to get a solution. If we do talk about other things, it is usually about things and activities. We usually hate talking about feelings and so our relationships are not based on talk, but activities.

Women need to feel as though they have been listened to. That also means giving them our full attention. Listen to what the bible says in the book of James.

James 1:19 “Everyone should be quick to listen, slow to speak.”

If we could take this verse and apply it to all of our relationships then we would experience the joy of blessed relationships. When it comes to our wives one of the most precious gifts we can give them is to listen to them because through this, we show them worth and value.

2) Women need to feel special, valued and LOVED.

One of the key differences between men and women is that men get their self esteem from achievements - getting a promotion, finishing a project, driving a nice car.

Women get their self esteem through relationships. Women feel good about themselves if others feel good about them.

Paul taught the early church that husbands are to “love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her” Eph 5:25.

Husbands it is your responsibility to make sure that your wife never feels the absence of love. You married her for a reason. You fell in love with her because she was special to you. You purposed to her because there was no other woman in the world that you would rather be with. Do you still feel that way? Do you let her know that?

3) Women need to be seen as equal partners not as slaves

The last key thing that we as men need to know about women is that they are equal partners, not our slaves. For most of human history, women have been oppressed and restricted. Until recently, a woman could be executed in Afghanistan for no more than learning how to read. Unfortunately, the Christian Church has also been guilty of treating women unfairly. In many ways the Christian community simply reflected the prevailing attitude of the entire ancient world.

All of Greco-Roman society looked at women as inferior to men. The philosopher Socrates argued that being born a woman was a punishment because a woman is halfway between a man and an animal. Women weren’t allowed to vote in ancient Greece, they had little choice over who they married, and in Roman society they aren’t allowed to be seen outside the home. Women in Jewish society didn’t fare much better. The Jewish rabbis prayed, "Thank you God for not making a woman." Jewish women were forbidden from learning the Jewish Bible. In fact, one rabbi said, "It would be better to see the...scriptures burnt than to hear its words upon the lips of women".

The attitude that women are inferior to men is a deception of Satan and it prevailed until Jesus Christ came to our world. Jesus both taught and demonstrated an entirely new attitude toward women. Jesus and the apostles taught that men and women were equal but different. Gal 3:28 says that, "There is neither Jew nor Greek, slave nor free, male nor female, for you are all one in Christ Jesus. If you belong to Christ, then you are Abraham’s seed, and heirs according to the promise."

In God’s eyes, there is no distinction in value between a man and women. It has been said that Eve was made from one of Adam’s ribs - from His side, not from his head to surpass him or his feet to be trampled upon, but from his side. She was taken from the side of man to be his equal, to go beside him, to walk with him, to help him. No where does the Bible uphold that males are in any way superior to females.

God created women to complement men. You see, guys, when we were created, we were good, but we were not complete. We needed a helper, so God created women. –

Gen 2:18 - “It is not good for the man to be alone. I will make a helper suitable for him”

In our English Language, the term “helper” often is used of a junior employee or one who is less experienced or capable. But the Hebrew word used here is of a person who works beside, complements, supports and aids. They are not inferior, they are equal. The fact that man needed a helper actually says more about the fact that man is incomplete than it does about women being a helper.