Monday, June 19, 2006

Ask the Pastor

I am starting a new feature on Abundant Living called Ask the Pastor. It is based on the hunch that there are tons of people out there with tons of questions about life and religion that they would like to ask. Thanks to all of you who have submitted questions. This first one comes from somewhere in the Southwest.

1. The guy has been informed by his wife they are divorcing; she moves out, they separate.
2. The guy then meets someone new.
3. The two hit it off really well and start moving forward with their new relationship.
4. Neither of the spouses has pushed the divorce through.
5. Ages later, the wife finds out about the new girl and decides she no longer wants the divorce.
6. The guy hates being the “bad guy” so doesn’t push the divorce.
7. At the same time the guy is adamant about not loosing the new girl.
8. The new girl is left wondering “what the heck is going on?”

In accordance with “thou shalt not commit adultery” does the new person severe ties and move on? What are the ramifications if one stays in the new relationship?

Here’s the deal. A quick definition of adultery would be any type of sexual relationship outside of the confines of a marriage relationship or any type of romantic relationship with a person other than your spouse after you have been married.

Divorce does not carry a spiritual death penalty. Jesus talks about divorce in Matthew chapter 19 and even gives a biblical reason for it. That reason? Adultery, Matthew 19:9.

Adultery in any form is sin and divorce is the result a husband or wife or both allowing sin in their lives. God intended for all marriages to be permanent and divorce for any reason other than adultery is sin but we are all guilty of some kind of sin, Romans 3:23.

If this man’s wife left him then he should have tried everything in his power to make the marriage work. If there was no hope of reconciliation then the marriage should have ended officially before either of them pursued a new relationship. As long as he is still married his wife is his priority, for better or worse. Any other relationship would be adultery.

Send your question for Ask the Pastor to


Tracy said...

I have a question for you.

Is that a picture of you on the right of this post??

dolphinfan said...

Yeah, that's me in a bus in Panama City, Panama this past spring.

Cat said...

Tracy is odd. But we knew that.

Anyhow, I like this post...definitely made me think. I like how you outline that all of us do sin. And, that we can be forgiven for sin.

That was always something I couldn't understand in my life. I'm slowly learning.

Tracy said...

I'm odd? Why am I odd? I am NOT odd.

dolphinfan said...


Forgiveness is hard to understand because we are human and it is naturally dificult for us to grant forgiveness to others.

God's willingness to forgive shows the depth of His amazing love for each of us.

jane said...

I think this is a really good idea. Wow that's you? You're so normal looking! Not that I thought you wouldn't be normal, but...just a nice surprise :)

Tracy said...

Jane - you crack me up, hon! :)

I was a little shocked he looked "normal" too... maybe we should nominate him, huh? :)

dolphinfan said...

I'm just glad that someone thinks I'm normal.

Jess said...

What about an abusive relationship? I ended my first marriage because of physical abuse. If my safety is in danger is that not an acceptable reason to divorce?

dolphinfan said...

Good question Jess! Divorce, no matter who is at fault, is a result of sin. While a man beating his wife is not mentioned in the bible as a reason for divorce it is a far cry from the biblical depiction of the role of the husband (Ehpesians 5:25, 28 - Colossians 3:19).

I can't tell you that God would want you to stay in that marriage because I know that He wants what is best for you.

Sin on any level is sin and God is gracious to forgive and restore us. Therefore no matter what resulted in the ending of your marriage, God still loves you and desires only the best for you and your life.

The Blogging Boss said...

Hey dolphinfan,

You have a balanced approach to scripture and God's enormous sense of grace/correction.

It is really refreshing to see someone post the reality of Christ on the internet and show the love of Christ depsite the situation.

You have a gifting that will transcend the prison that the modern day church is strangled by. Be real, as you are and speak the truth of Christ, never condemning, but always in pursuit of the REAL THING!

My wife and I are Christians, but we rarely find someone that is ready to deal with life's reality, yet stand firm to who Christ REALLY is.

He is ALL powerful, ALL forgiving, ALL loving and his judgement will never be tested.

Go Bro...

In His, Eric

dolphinfan said...

Thanks Eric,

I couldn't have described God better myself. God bless you and your wife!

Joanna said...

Amazing story! Can't say I would do the same. I am speaking selfishly as a mother.