Loving No Matter What

C.S. Lewis penned these powerful words about love. "To love at all is to be vulnerable. Love anything, and your heart will certainly be wrung and possibly be broken. If you want to make sure of keeping it intact, you must give your heart to no one, not even an animal. Wrap it carefully round with hobbies and little luxuries; avoid all entanglements; lock it up safe. It will not be broken; it will become unbreakable, impenetrable, irredeemable."...

Its amazing how often the word love is misused. We often use it in place of infatuation, a strong liking or even a desire to get to know better. Truth be told that we often have no idea what we are talking about when we tell another person that we love them. Love in its truest form is sacrificial. It gives way more than it receives even to the point of hurt.

We are designed to love and really can’t function properly without it. We are genuinely miserable without experiencing true love but on the same hand we are often brought to our highest points of frustration by the ones we love. However complete love allows us to move beyond the frustration hurt and pain that are commonly experienced in relationships to continue in the joy that God intended for that relationship bring into our lives.

The question is how, how do we continue loving no matter what? The answer is actually easier than you might think. There are two keys to growing your love relationship through difficult times. First, understanding what true love is and secondly, understanding how to truly forgive when you have been hurt.

In general we live in two types of love relationships, Eros and Philia. Its pretty easy to identify which type of love matches each of our relationships but it isn’t always easy to understand the full measure of that love.

For example, Eros is the type of love that describes our romantic/marriage relationships. We know it best as an attractive or sensual type of love but if that is our only understanding of it then we are missing out because there is so much more to it.

Eros can easily be defined as a selfish love based on the way the world understands it but in reality it is a giving love. It was Eros that not only initially attracted you to your spouse but it was also the motivating factor in your desire to be united in marriage. Think about that for just a second. Because of this kind of love you not only desired your spouse (selfish) but you also desired to give yourself to him/her in marriage. The concept of giving out of our romantic love is reinforced through the bible.

1 Corinthians 7:4: The wife's body does not belong to her alone but also to her husband. In the same way, the husband's body does not belong to him alone but also to his wife.

Ephesians 5:22: Wives, submit to your husbands as to the Lord.

Ephesians 5:25: Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her.

When your romantic/attractive love fails to be sacrificial or giving then it will also fail to survive through the most difficult times of your marriage relationship.

However romantic relationships aren’t the only ones that have the potential to bring both joy and hurt in our lives. Many of us have been hurt by our closest friends and then find years later that we were hurt worse by the severing of that relationship than we were by the actual hurtful act.

Philia is the word used to describe brotherly love which is the type of love that we enjoy with our closest of friends. It is the type of love Paul uses when he referred to the church in the book of Philippians.

Philippians 4:1
1Therefore, my brothers, you whom I love and long for, my joy and crown, that is how you should stand firm in the Lord, dear friends!

There is nothing romantic or sexual stated in that text. It is just a man longing to be with his friends whom he genuinely loved as though they were his own flesh and blood.

This is also the type of love that Jesus enjoyed with Peter, James and John. Remember that John is often referred as the disciple that Jesus loved. It was these three men who not only shared in all the great moments with Jesus during his three year public ministry but also were with him during the lowest point of his life at the Garden of Gethsemane.

Keep in mind that Jesus was fully human and experienced all the emotions that came with his humanity. He enjoyed the company of his friends and understood what it took to make a friendship relationship work. Understanding that, Jesus gave us the ultimate example of what it is to be a friend.

John 15
12My command is this: Love each other as I have loved you. 13Greater love has no one than this, that he lay down his life for his friends.

Once again we find that giving and sacrifice are crucial elements to not only enjoying but also continuing a relationship that is based on brotherly love.

Now the key to loving not matter what is not just understanding Eros or Philia love but also understanding and living Agape love.

Agape love is the way that God loves us. It is unconditional love that allows us to say, “I may not like you at times but I will always love you!” That is exactly the way that God views you and me. He doesn’t like the sin in our lives but He does love us. God’s love is not based upon who we are or what we do but solely on who He is. We are God’s creation and as I said last week there is absolutely nothing we can do to cause Him to stop loving us. That is Agape love!

Understanding Agape love and living it will allow you to repair the hurt done and continue on in that relationship.

I can hear you right now, “But you don’t understand what they said or did to me.” You are right I don’t and while I acknowledge that hurt will many times sever a relationship, forgiveness always provides a way to bring it back together. Remember if your love is unconditional then it isn’t based on the other person it is based on you.

If our relationship with God was based on us then we would be in a lot of trouble because we allow sin to come between us and God on a daily basis. Some of you have been hurt more than once by your friends or your spouses and even though you desire to see that relationship continue you are at a loss as how to make it happen.

Look again at God’s example. Jesus didn’t die for the righteous he died for the wicked so that they may become righteous. He died for you and I in the midst of our rebellion against Him.

Romans 5:8: But God demonstrates his own love for us in this: While we were still sinners, Christ died for us.

Look at that, while we were still sinners! We have this misconception that God only loves those who love Him but the truth is that not only does he love everyone He loves everyone in spite of their sin.

Knowing that sin would sever the lines of communication and damage the relationship God made a way for us to receive forgiveness and be restored to the full benefits of that relationship. Follow what I am saying here.

1) We are the ones who have the sin problem.
2) God loves us in the midst of that sin.
3) Our sin is direct rebellion against God
4) God is the one who paid atonement for our sin.

The power of God’s forgiveness is humbling. He offers us what we don’t deserve over and over again in spite of the fact that we are the ones hurting him.

Whether it is your spouse, child or friend they are going to hurt you at some point. The key to repairing that hurt and mending that relationship is not what they offer in retribution but what you offer in forgiveness.

Church Update

I had the opportunity to go to the national pastor’s conference last week in Jacksonville, Florida. It was an amazing time of ministry and worship and I came home eager to continue the work here at Mayfair. While I do love my job it does get taxing at times when you are working with people who have, “never done it that way before.”

Not that our church has a negative attitude, they really don’t, they are just learning to do new things and serving at my first church as pastor I am learning along with them. We have made some great strides and have experienced significant growth as a result. Frankly the people of the church deserve more credit for allowing God to use and stretch them than I do as the pastor.

Mayfair has finally reached the point where we are almost always over 100 in attendance during our worship services. We actually had a low Sunday this week, due to illness and some families traveling, but still had over 90 in attendance. We’ve come a long way since our low Sundays were in the 30’s.

I started a sermon series on love that I am really excited about. It’s only a three week series but I believe it has the potential to not only be life changing but also change the dynamic of our church. I preached the first message titled “Love the Way God Intended” Sunday and we had three people come forward and join the church. I’m sure it was God working in their lives more than it was the words coming out of my mouth.

Right Now on the Message Boards
Christians being persecuted in Mexico

Love the Way God Intended

Okay, honestly, raise your hand if you have ever said of thought any of those things you saw in the video towards your husband of wife. There have been times in my life when I have wondered why or better yet how my wife loves me as much as she does. I have rolled out of bed before, look into the mirror and said, “What was she thinking?”

I’m glad that I am confident in the fact that my wife loves me but where does that confidence come from? Part of it comes from when I look in the mirror. She is too smart to put up with a guy like me for all theses years if she didn’t really love me but the main thing that gives me confidence is my understanding of love. Not the love that we find that video, or on television and in books and magazines but love the way God intended it to be.

My goal through this lesson is to illustrate through some personal examples from my life God’s design and intention for love. Not that I have a better life than you do or that I am somehow on a pedestal above you, because I don’t think that way and if you know me then you know for certain that I’m not. However, I have to use illustrations from my life because you didn’t give me permission to use illustrations from yours.

Look for a moment at how the bible describes love in 1 Corinthians 13.

4Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. 5It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. 6Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. 7It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.

Look at the adjectives in this passage. Can you honestly say that these descriptive words are found in your love relationships? If you can’t then you do not love the way God intended.
We have to understand that love is a process. All of these characteristics don’t just pop into the picture the moment you first fall in love. Rather they are developed over a time through the process of learning how to love.

The mistake that we often make is to assume that because love is a natural emotion then all the characteristics of love will come naturally with it as well. That is simply not true! Marilyn and I will celebrate our 14th wedding anniversary this coming May, Lord willing!, and I can honestly say that I am so much more in love with her now than I was almost 14 years ago when we stood at the alter and shared our vows.

Why is that? It is because over the last 13 plus years I have been learning how to love her. That’s the beauty of love the way God intended for it to be. Through the process of instilling all of these qualities into your relationship you actually see your love for another person grow.
With Oklahoma among the top five states in the nation with the highest divorce rates there aren’t as many people who will give you the testimony of their marriage that you just heard from me. There is no shortage in theories when it comes to identifying the reasons for a rising divorce rate but the problem is actually pretty simple. People just simply don’t want to adjust.
The process of love requires adjustment.

I told you earlier that Marilyn and I are close to celebrating 14 years of marriage but honestly some of you have been married for so long that you would still describe us as being in the honeymoon stage. Think about this for just a moment. How many things do you know now about your spouse that you didn’t know about them before you married them? What kind of adjustments did you have to make in order to continue loving them? What kind of adjustments did they have to make in order to continue loving you?

That’s the process that I am talking about. For you to enjoy love it has to grow and for it to do that you have to be willing to invest time and effort into the process making the required adjustments.

Failing to adjust to the process had implications on all three types of love relationships.
Eros – Romantic relationship
Philia – Friendship relationships
Agape – Godly relationship (also the way you should love your children)

Let me tell you two quick stories. Several years back the church that I was working at hired a new secretary. She was exceptional and very efficient in her work and above all else was a huge OU basketball fan. She had a grandson around my oldest son’s age and we would tell stories about the boys as well as talk sports just about every day.

One fall she asked Marilyn and I if we would like to tickets to the OU/Texas football game. Absolutely we did! It was the perfect opportunity to get away from the kids for a weekend and enjoy some alone time as well as watch our favorite football team. Going to the Cotton Bowl to watch the Red River Rivalry is the Mecca to both Oklahoma and Texas football fans and we finally had an opportunity to make the trip ourselves.

On the day of the game parking was chaos. We finally made our way to a small lot where we paid an outrageous amount of money to park our little car. After passing through the gate into the lot we were guided to a tiny spot to park. It was so crowded in that lot that after we pulled in the parking spot there wasn’t enough room for Marilyn to get out of the car. I tried to pull the car over to a lager spot so we could have enough room to actually get out and the lot attendant came sprinting over to emphatically tell me why we couldn’t do that. It was at that point when I saw my beautiful wife do something I had never seen before. She actually got out of the car and stood nose to nose with this man matching his tone of voice and body language demanding that she either get a parking spot that would allow her to get out of the car or her money back.

I was absolutely speechless. Try your best to get the mental picture of my little wife matching a rather large man in a battle of wills. I had never seen this behavior before and had no indication to ever expect to. After just a few minutes we were invited to enjoy a parking spot at the very front of the lot that left more than enough room for us to exit the vehicle to which Marilyn said, “Now, that’s more like it.”

Here’s the thing about Marilyn. She doesn’t settle for second best. It doesn’t matter if it’s a parking spot, our kid’s grades, the condition of our house or whatever. She wants the absolute best for herself and her family. Sometimes that attitude can be frustrating to me, especially when it comes to house cleaning, but it was something I needed to adjust to and here’s what I realized.

There are day when I don’t feel very confident in who I am as a person, a father or a husband. Hey, I’m just human and I am the first to admit that I am very imperfect. Its that truth in life that often causes us to feel less than we really are. Check this out, my wife doesn’t settle for second best and she chose to marry me! It is not in her nature to settle for second rate and I am the guy she fell in love with. What does that say about me? It says that I am not second rate, I am not second best. When I am having a bad day at work and feel like a miserable failure, my wife doesn’t settle for second best. When I have messed up at home and guilt makes me feel like a bad father or husband, my wife doesn’t settle for second best! Do you see the adjustment there? That is the process of love.

Here’s another angle from this story. When we returned home from the weekend I shared the parking story with our friend who gave us the tickets. She laughed and thought it was funny but guess what happened the next year? Not only did she come through with tickets again but this time she got us a parking pass that allowed us VIP parking right next to the team busses.
Now over the course of our friendship we have given her a few gifts as well on holidays and birthdays but I can honestly say that I have never given her anything like this opportunity and yet she continued to get us the tickets year after year for as long as she could. Here’s why? God’s intention for love isn’t self-focused.

How many times have you based a gift on what you received from that person? How many times have you helped out a friend only to the extent that they have helped you? Are your friendships based on you or are you truly reflecting God’s intention for love.

There is another aspect to love the way God intended and that is the Agape or unconditional love. His love for us is not based upon our actions, good or bad. His love is based solely on His love. There is absolutely nothing that you can do to make God love you any less. In fact the bible teaches that if we could then we could never again gain that measure of love back.

4It is impossible for those who have once been enlightened, who have tasted the heavenly gift, who have shared in the Holy Spirit, 5who have tasted the goodness of the word of God and the powers of the coming age, 6if they fall away, to be brought back to repentance, because to their loss they are crucifying the Son of God all over again and subjecting him to public disgrace.
Hebrews 6:4-6

Jesus was crucified once for the forgiveness of man’s sin. It was God’s love for you that allowed Jesus to go to the cross. Many people will try to use this passage to make the point that you can actually lose your salvation but that couldn’t be any further from the truth. In fact, the warning is that if you could fall away you will never be able to come back. Why? In order for God to withdraw His salvation from you not only would that mean that the cross wasn’t enough it would also mean that He would have to actually go back on His word and quit loving you.

Do we deserve the cross and God’s offer for salvation? No! Do we get it anyway? Yes! Because God’s love for you and I isn’t based on condition.

When I was a kid there were many things my dad asked me to do or not to do. I wish I could say that I always did what I was asked but I was a child and as children do I often disobeyed. My disobedience earned me what I deserved which was punishment by my father.

I remember one particular incident when my brother had deliberately disobeyed our parents and were caught red-handed by dad. Knowing what was to come we were sent to our rooms to await our punishment. In our minds this punishment deserved spanking and when dad arrived to our room we “assumed the position.” However instead of swatting us (what we deserved) dad actually gave us some toys and candy he had bought earlier in the day for us.

It was the perfect time to explain God’s grace which is simply defined as unmerited favor or getting from God what we really don’t deserve. Dad could have easily spanked us and been justified by it but instead he chose to take the opportunity to show us favor and instill in us the confidence that even in our disobedience he still loves us.

There is a lot of talk and debate today about what is and is not sin but the simple truth is that sin is anything that is outside the will of God for your life. It is an act of rebellion against God and the bible teaches that we deserve eternal separation from Him (death) for those willful acts of rebellion. Instead of justifiably giving us what we deserve God instead offers us the gift of salvation in what is His greatest example of love the way He intended it to be.

Evidence that God Doesn’t Exist?

I initially intended for this to be a quick post to go on the forum but wound up ranting a little longer than normal. Feel free to leave a comment below or discuss it further here.

New Book Examines Existence of Divine Creator Using Scientific
Method

Amherst, NY – Books on God and science, religion, and nonbelief have enjoyed unprecedented popularity in recent months—a trend Time magazine called an “atheist literary wave”—demonstrating the interest of American readers in intelligent debate on these topics. The God Delusion by evolutionary biologist Richard Dawkins is number nine on the New York Times Best Seller List dated February 4, 2007; Sam Harris’s atheistic response to critics, Letter to a Christian Nation, sits at twenty-six. In interviews, both men have directed readers to an additional work that continues the “new atheism” trend: God: The Failed Hypothesis (Prometheus Books, January 30, 2007.)In God: The Failed Hypothesis, physicist Victor Stenger argues that science has advanced sufficiently to make a definitive statement on the existence or nonexistence of the traditional Judeo-Christian-Islamic God. He invites readers to put their minds—and the scientific method—to work to test this claim. After evaluating all the scientific evidence—the studies done by reputable institutions on the power of prayer; the writings of philosophers who have puzzled over the problem of God and of good and evil; the efforts of biblical scholars to prove the accuracy of holy scriptures; and the work of biologists, geologists, and astronomers looking for clues to a creator on Earth and in the cosmos—Stenger concludes that beyond a reasonable doubt the universe and life appear exactly as we might expect if there were no God. He convincingly shows that not only is there no evidence for the existence of God, but scientific observations actually point to his nonexistence.

I guess people will truly believe whatever they want to and honestly anyone can bend facts or create evidence to support to match their beliefs. I don’t plan on purchasing or even taking a second look at this book because it really is a “seen one seen them all” format with these types of books.

These “intellectuals” chose to ignore the evidence of an organized created universe and grasp on to theories in an attempt to refute the existence of God. Science has yet to fully explain, and provide evidence, for a universe that is self caused. It cannot explain eternity or the complexity and order of created things (DNA etc…).

They would rather explain the anthropic principle (the universe is so finely tuned as to allow life to exist on earth) as a freak accident and ignore the fact that is just makes more sense that there was a creator.

Where do morals, ethics and values come from? How do we know something is good? There has to be a standard. No one will deny the existence of evil but yet how do we know of evil. In order to have evil then you must have a standard of good (Holiness) to compare it with. However, if God does not exist then there is no standard of Holiness and therefore there is no opposite, evil.

These guys say that faith is foolish and people are blindly led astray by it but they base their existence on an unproven impossible scientific theory and stubbornly hold the position that it will someday be proven true despite mountains of evidence that point to the contrary. It really makes you wonder who is blindly being led astray.

Right now on the Message Boards:
Evidence that God Doesn’t Exist?

Arrest for Street Preaching Leads to Lawsuit

I’m Back!

I know it has been a while. So long in fact that many of you reading this are asking the question, “Who are you?”

I took a sabbatical from the blog but now I’m back with some fresh ideas and a new look. I really debated whether to just delete Abundant Living and start over or revise it because I wanted a site that focuses on religion but was also driven by the readers.

So I decided to change the look of the site, add a message board and continue on with Abundant Living. I’ll post a few times during the week but the meat of this blog, for it to work properly, will come from contributions of the readers.

You can contribute by participating in ‘Ask the Pastor’ or by posting on the message board. Ask the Pastor gives you the opportunity to ask questions about God, the bible, religion or life in general.

Send your question to Ask the Pastor!

The message board lets you discuss, ask and even debate a variety of topics. Feel free to post there as often as you like. You do have to register to become a member of the message board but that keep out comment spam.

Abundant Living is back and has the potential to be a great site! Not because of me but because of you and your continued participation. Feel free to go ahead and get started.

Why Does God Allow Evil & Suffering

One of, if not the, greatest challenges against a person’s belief in God is the existence of evil. More than once in my life I have heard the following argument:

1. If God is all good, then he would get rid of evil.
2. If God is all powerful, then he could get rid of evil.
3. Evil does exist.
4. Therefore, God must not exist.

Initially it looks like a strong argument against the existence of God. However, it is actually an argument for the existence of God.

In order for someone to call something “evil” they must assume that there is a standard of “good” by which one can compare. God is the only fixed and unchanging standard by which evil is identified.

Anytime someone says there is a way things should not be, they are implying there is a way that things should be.

The question is: where does this sense of moral obligation come from? Why ought or should anyone do anything? You can say that there is a plan that is unchanging. This can only be explained through the existence of God.

Another problem with the existence of evil is trying to identify good in it. If you have evil apart from God’s existence then it would be pure evil and nothing can be gained from it.

Think about the good things that have come from pain and suffering. At the time of our suffering we only see the pain and evil but in hindsight we can see the good that came from it.

Through evil, pain and suffering we acquire an absolute appreciation for life and the good things that are given to us. We also see a person’s character develop through an experience of pain and suffering. Finally, pain and suffering will often lead people into a closer relationship with God.

These are only three examples but none of them are possible without the existence of God.

Deciding Your Worldview

The best description that I’ve heard of a world view is that it is like a pair of glasses. If you have red lenses then you will see everything red. If you are using orange lenses then you will see everything orange, etc…

It is the same way with our beliefs. If someone is an atheist, they will view life through “atheist glasses”; if they are Buddhist, then they will see life through “Buddhist glasses”; and if someone is a Christian, then they will see life through “Christian glasses.”

Once you understand a person’s worldview it helps you understand their perspective and stance on life and religion. This is important when engaging in a conversation especially when it comes to discussing different views on religion.

There are three major worldviews that are prevalent today. Monism, Naturalism, and Theism are the most influential worldviews. Most of today’s religions funnel from one of these three perspectives. However, for a worldview to have any value it must answer four fundamental questions:

1. Where did the world and man come from?
2. Where do morals come from?
3. Is there any absolute meaning in life?
4. Where does man go after he dies?

If a worldview can’t adequately answer these four questions, it is really not worth believing in because it cannot help guide me through life. So, let’s look at these three worldviews in light of these four questions.

Monism is the belief that everything is ultimately “one.” There are absolutely no distinctions that can be made in life. Distinctions are actually just illusions that we must learn to overcome.

Where did the world and man come from? Monistic religions (Buddhism and Hinduism) generally believe that the world and the universe are eternal (has always been and will always be there.) They reject the consensus of modern science and do not mind believing in contradictory statements since logic is primarily a Western ‘invention.’

Monism provides no answer to question one.

Where do morals come from? Karma is the moral law that drives the universe forward within Monism. Within this moral system, you have both good karma and bad karma. However the big problem here is that if there are no distinctions in Monism, how can there be both good karma and bad karma? For that reason Monism fails to answer the question of morality.

Is there any absolute meaning in life? Again Monism has the same problem when it comes to finding meaning in life. If everything is ultimately one, then that means there are no true distinctions between things. If this were true, then there would be absolutely no meaning in life for individuals since individuals are a contradiction to oneness. Again no answer found.

Where does man go after he dies? The soul at death becomes part of the cosmos. The cosmos is one, eternal, and impersonal existence and your soul will become a part of the whole.

Here we find a possible answer but it doesn’t satisfy because of the unreliability of the first three answers. If your beliefs can’t provide a valid answer to questions 1-3 then it makes the answer to number 4 unreliable.

Naturalism is the belief that all that exists is the natural world. The only way we can ever know anything is through our five senses. There is no God, there are no souls, and heaven/hell does not exist.

Where did the world and man come from? Naturalists have to believe one of two things about the origin of the universe: 1) it has always been here (eternal) 2) it popped into existence out of literally nothing.

The problem here is that the consensus of science tells us that the universe is not eternal and that it did not pop into existence from nothing. No answer is found in either of these two options.

Where do morals come from? According to the naturalist morality is the product of evolutionary development. Since the world is purely the product of physical and biological evolution, then morals must have evolved as well.

According to the theory of natural selection only those characteristics that perpetuate a species survive. Therein lays the problem for naturalism and the evolutionary ethic because it cannot explain why we should be good. Just because something may have originated one way does not mean there is any obligation that we should have to do it.

Another point here is that evolution cannot explain such acts as the sacrificing of one’s own life for the lives of others. Evolution tells us to do whatever it takes to preserve our own life not sacrifice it for others. There is no answer for morality found here.

Is there any absolute meaning in life and where does man go after he dies? Meaning and destiny do not exist within naturalism because the physical body is all that truly exists. Once the body dies, the brain and consciousness die with it; therefore there is no ultimate purpose or end for living.

Theism believes that although the world exists and our senses can detect the world, there exists another dimension where God exists.

Where did the world and man come from? There is a definite beginning to the universe and God was the cause of it. Since the universe must have a cause and since it could not cause itself the only reasonable explanation is that something caused it. That is where Theist point to an all powerful God as the cause giving us an answer to the first question.

Where do morals come from? Because God exists and His character is unchanging, He has established certain morals that are absolute and unchanging.
If God did not exist the only reason stealing would be wrong is because society tells us so. But so what? Why is anyone obligated to listen to their societal laws?
God is the source of morality.

Is there any absolute meaning in life? Since man is made in the image of God everything he does matters to Him. Every act and every thought reflects our relationship to God and therefore every single act has meaning.

Where does man go after he dies? Heaven is described as a place where there is no sin, sickness, or death. Heaven is a reward for all of God’s children who have put their faith in Him and accepted Jesus Christ as their savior.
There is also an eternal destination for those who have rejected God and His love. It is described as a place of utter darkness and eternal torment where there is weeping and gnashing of teeth.

Not only does Theism answer the question of eternity but it is the only world view that adequately answers all four questions that guide a person through life. That makes Theism the only logical choice for a worldview.


Written with the aid of Walter Nusbaum’s “A Defense of the Faith.”

Does God Exist?

“In a quiet revolution in thought and argument that hardly anybody could have foreseen only two decades ago, God is making a comeback. Most intriguingly, this is happening not among theologians or ordinary believers, but in the crisp intellectual circles of academic philosophers where the consensus had long banished the Almighty from fruitful discourse.”
-- Time, 1998

Cover of Newsweek: "Science Finds God”

“The achievements of modern science seem to contradict religion and undermine faith. But for a growing number of scientists, the same discoveries offer support for spirituality and hints of the very nature of God…Once, science and religion were viewed as two fundamentally different, even antagonistic ways of pursuing that quest, and science stood accused of smothering faith and killing God. Now, it may strengthen belief.”
-- Newsweek 1988

“For the scientist who has lived by faith in the power of reason, the story ends like a bad dream. He has scaled the mountains of ignorance; he is about to conquer the highest peak; as he pulls himself over the final rock, he is greeted by a band of theologians who have been sitting there for centuries.
-- Dr. Robert Jastrow
Founder and Director of NASA’s Goddard Space Institute

Have you ever wondered why there is something rather than absolutely nothing? Why does the universe even exist? Has it always been there or did it come into existence? These are all questions in which the answers lead you to God or to absolutely nothing.

Until recently many scientists still believed that the universe was eternal, that it had always existed. The reason scientists liked this view was because if the universe has always been here, there would be no need for a God to create it.

However, the view that the universe is eternal has fallen under severe attack. There is a virtual consensus among contemporary astronomers and physicists that the universe did in fact have a beginning.

There are four options that explain the presence of the universe.
1. The universe is eternal.
2. The universe is an illusion
3. The universe came into being by nothing
4. The universe came into being by something.

Of each of these four options only one really seems to be reasonable. The first option contradicts the findings of science. The second one doesn’t make any sense. The third one accepts the fact that the universe came into being but contradicts itself in saying that something can come from nothing. The fourth one has to be the best option. The universe came into being by the power of something, God. This is called the First Cause Argument.

Walter Nusbaum brings up the following analogy. Think anbout everything that surrounds your life. Is there anything that ever happens without any sort of cause? In fact, everything we think of has some prior cause. If this is true, then it makes sense that the universe had a cause too!

A term you might want to familiarize yourself with is the Kalam Argument. It is a three part argument that says that everything that begins to exist has a cause, the universe began to exist, and therefore the universe has a cause.

There is another popular argument that is called the argument from design. It says that anything with order and complexity required a designer because nature does not produce complexity and information.

Again Nusbaum gives us the following thought. You wake up one morning and your wife had poured your alphabet cereal in your bowl. If you saw the words “Good morning, Honey” spelled out, would you think it was just a fluke chance that the cereal letters came out of the box like that or would you think your wife did that?

When you look at the complexity of our world, universe and even your own body are you going to say that it just randomly happened or that it was a designer who created it that way? Christians believe in God for many different reasons but one of the largest is because His creation screams out about his existence.

Apologetics

Have you ever been is a situation when you were asked to defend what you believed but couldn’t. We often know what we believe but we don’t know why we believe it. Learning how to explain and defend your beliefs is known as apologetics.

The word apologetics comes from the Greek work ‘apologia’, which means ‘defense.’ Anytime you are defendng your beliefs you are using apologetics.

Anyone who believes anything has an apologetic. All religions, cults and even atheists have apologetics. As Christians we need to make sure we not only know what we believe but are able to make a sound defense of our faith.

In his study book, “A Defense of the Faith” Walter Nusbaum gives us three reasons why Christians should study apologetics:

1. We are commanded.
15But in your hearts set apart Christ as Lord. Always be prepared to give an answer to everyone who asks you to give the reason for the hope that you have. But do this with gentleness and respect. 1 Peter 3:15

The bible is full of examples where people defended their beliefs in God. No one will believe in a God that you can’t explain how He relates to you.

2. Study increases your confidence in evangelism.

Most people don’t share their faith not because they are afraid but because they don’t know how. Paul said that he wasn’t ashamed of the Gospel. The reason why is that he fully understood it and knew how to effectively communicate it to other people.

When we study Apologetics we begin to understand not only more about God but our relationship with Him. It becomes easier to explain and we grow more confident in sharing it with others.

3. Apologetics will draw you closer to God.

There is a direct link between knowledge and love. The more you learn about God and His love for you the more your love and devotion will grow for Him.

Maybe it’s time to discover why you believe what you believe!

Church Update

I know that it has been a long, long time since my last update and I apologize for that. Things have been extremely busy here at Mayfair but extremely good at the same time.

We are three weeks into our “Developing the Mind of Christ” series and to this point God has blessed us with seven new church members over those three weeks.

Last Sunday we had 103 in our worship attendance which marks our third Sunday in a row with over 100 in worship.

On Friday myself and a handful of our church members will head out to New Orleans for a mission trip. This will be the second mission trip this year for our church (We sent a group to Panama in March).

We have also launched a church website - www.mayfairbaptist.org – check it out and let me know what you think. It’s very interactive with message boards, opinion polls and a blog. If you would like to keep up with what’s going on in New Orleans I’ll be updating the blog each night.

Developing the Mind of Christ

Jimmy Moore was a dying man. There just wasn’t any future for him. Then he got his chance at life again in the form of a heart transplant at Vanderbilt University. Two years later, he completed the grueling Music City (Nashville, TN), Triathlon which consisted of a 1k swim, 40k bike ride (24.8 miles) and 10k (6.2 mile) run.

The man who had a heart transplant 18 months earlier crossed the finish line with tears in his eyes and these words across the front of his T-shirt, “I’VE HAD A CHANGE OF HEART.”

There are many Christians in the world today who need to have a change of heart. People come to know Christ and recognize him as Lord but they never realize what they are supposed to do next. Becoming a Christian means becoming a new person. That involves changing your heart, the things you desire, and mind, the things you think about.

The Bible tells us in Colossians 3:2 that we should, “Set our minds on things above, not on earthly things.” One of life’s biggest frustrations is when we know we are supposed to do something but we don’t know how we are supposed to do it.

According to T.W. Hunt and Claud King’s book “The Mind of Christ” developing the Mind of Christ Occurs in Three Stages

Beginning Stage
In this stage a Christian must learn to put his/her mind on things above. Philippians 4:8 - Finally, brothers, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable—if anything is excellent or praiseworthy—think about such things.

You have an amazing machine inside your head we call the brain. You may not have a high IQ, maybe only average or even below average intelligence. But your brain is still something amazing. Did you know that inside the skull of your head is more information stored than in all 17 million volumes in the library of congress? That is pretty amazing for a little machine that only weighs about 3 pounds.

Psychologists tell us that each person has about ten thousand thoughts per day. That means you have at least a one in ten thousand chance of having a good thought every day.

Much of the whole thought process remains a mystery to scientists and psychologists. But one thing is not a mystery about the mind. How you think is going to affect your Christian life. How you think will make a profound difference in how you represent Jesus Christ. A person must decide, choose, or determine the focus of their mind.


Growing Stage
The Christian lives in a constant state of renewal. Romans 12:2 - Do not conform any longer to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind.

Why do you suppose that there are close to 100 million church members in America yet they are not making more of a moral and spiritual impact? Why is that on Sunday morning thousands of churches have more empty pews than full? Why is it that the average Sunday School in America has less than 66 in attendance and that the average worship service has 84? Why is it that only 50% of a church membership can be expected to attend on any given Sunday? It’s because people make a decision about Jesus but never a commitment to Him.

Without a commitment to Christ your relationship will suffer and so will your mind. It’s that commitment to Him that allows us to transform our minds to focus on Godly things rather than selfish things that hinder our relationship to Him.

Qualified Stage
A Christian’s mind must be prepared for action. 1 Peter 1:13
Therefore, prepare your minds for action; be self-controlled; set your hope fully on the grace to be given you when Jesus Christ is revealed.

It was the late 1920’s when a woman and her new husband moved into the man’s old family home. It was a clapboard house with a hall down the middle. It wasn’t much of a home, but it was all they had. Ten years later, however, the two had managed to save just enough money to tear down the old house and build another next to it which was to be their home for the rest of their lives. To cut back on the expense of the new place the husband, without informing his wife, decided to reuse many of the materials from the old house in the construction. He used old facings and doors, and many other pieces of the finishing lumber. When it was completed, the woman was finally permitted to inspect her "new home." As her husband walked her through it tears streamed down her cheeks. Unfortunately they were not tears of joy, however, but sadness. For as she looked around she saw the same old doors that wouldn’t shut properly; the same crown molding that was split and riddled with nail holes, the same unfinished window trimming. There wasn’t much in fact that was really very "new" about it. So on what should have been one of the better days of her life; she eventually sat down and had herself a good cry. Her husband was confused at her response. "But I’ve built you a new home," he objected. "No, you didn’t," his wife responded. "You just rearranged the old one."

Why do so many people get spiritually frustrated? It’s because their minds are not prepared for action. We allow our minds to focus on a “me first” attitude and it removes God prom the equation. Without a “God first” focus we cannot experience a growing relationship with Him. That means we often feel as if He is not hearing our prayers and we don’t feel a sense of value or purpose.

There you have it. Three easy steps to having a change of heart, all you have to do now is set your mind to it.

Ask the Pastor

This week’s question is not only a great question but it’s something that all of us have asked at least once in our lives.

Why do we pray if God already has a plan for us and everything will happen according to His will? My husband has been sick for years, and we constantly pray for him to no avail, so my daughter feels there is no point in praying.

We know that God does have a plan for our lives based on what we read in Jeremiah 29:11, but what happens when our plans and God’s plans are not the same?

In Genesis Chapter 18 God is ready to destroy Sodom and Gomorrah because of the wickedness of those two cities. Abraham steps before the Lord in verses 16-33 and ask God if he would change his mind if he finds 50 righteous people in the cities. God does say that he will withhold his judgment for the sake of 50 righteous. Then Abraham begins to bargain with God talking Him down from 50 righteous people to 10.

So we know from this example that we call on God and petition Him with our own desires and He will listen to us. This is reinforced in the New Testament when Jesus told us to ask and it will be given to us (Matthew 7:7).

So why do people get sick and things happen that we don’t like? I have always taught that God answers prayer in one of three ways; yes, no, and grow.

Yes is the answer that we all like to receive from God because it means that He has heard our request and out of His love for us grants that request just the way we asked.

The other two are a little tougher to swallow because it’s not really the answer we were hoping for. We have to remember that God is a just God and His purposes are greater than ours. That is why it requires faith to grow in a relationship with Him. He tells us no because it is not according to His purpose and plan that is designed to ultimately benefit us even though we may not see it at the time of our request and His response.

Sometimes God tells us no because we have put the object of our request ahead of Him in our lives. Remember God is just and he desires our true devotion. Basically we are asking Him to give us something that is more important than He is.

God will also delay His answer sometimes because we need to grow in our faith and relationship with Him. Perhaps we don’t see what circumstances the granting or our request would bring up in our life and He knows there is a spiritual danger ahead and we need to grow a little in order to overcome what comes next.

Send your question to Ask the Pastor

The Reality of Hell

In a national poll conducted several years ago by USA Today “67% of American adults said they believe in a hell. But less than 25% believed that they would go there.

Strangely enough a newer poll conducted by US News and World Report (2000) reveals that more Americans today believe in Hell than they did in the 1950’s or even 10 years ago. But most now think of hell as “an anguished state of existence” rather than a real place.

I assure you that the Devil believes in a real Hell. You may not believe in hell or you may think that it is just a state of mind, but as the old revival preacher said to the skeptic, “You not believing in Hell don’t lower the temperature there one degree.”

We don’t like think about the reality of Hell and we often hear the statement, “I don’t believe that a good god will send anyone to Hell.” This statement is based on error and inconsistency. We never make the statement, “How could a good judge sentence a mass murderer to death for his crimes?” We don’t say that because the judge is not responsible for the man being sentenced to death, his actions are.

In the parable that Jesus tells in verses Luke 16:19-31 we see two men from two very different walks of life and find themselves in two very different eternities.

Before death the rich man lived in complete luxury not wanting anything and Lazarus the beggar lay at the gate to his house wishing that he could just eat the crumbs that fell from the rich man’s table.

Not only is Lazarus described as a beggar but he is also described as a man covered in sores. So much so that the wild dogs of the city would come to him and lick the open sores that covered his body.

Death changed everything for both of these men. The bible tells us that when Lazarus died he was carried by angels to Abraham’s side and when the rich man died he found himself in the torments of hell.

You can argue the existence of God, heaven and hell all you want but one thing that you cannot deny is the fact that we all face death. It’s a morbid and sobering thought but you and I are going to die at some point and at the funeral it will be just your physical shell lying in the casket. The real person, the soul/spirit, has already departed to either a place of torment or a place of comfort, depending on the person’s spiritual condition.

Why is the rich man in hell? Reading this story by itself without an understanding of the rest of the Gospel a person might think that the rich man is in hell for being rich. The real reason for his being in hell was his disregard of the word of God and his rejection of the Lord.

Some people have an image of Hell that is not based on reality. For instance Mark Twain said, “I’ll take heaven for the climate and Hell for the society.” Ted Turner once said “I’m looking forward to dying and going to hell because I know that’s where I’m headed.” People would not be so flippant about Hell if they understood the reality of it. Through the experiences of two men Jesus gives us a glimpse into Hell. It is brief but powerful enough to blow apart many of man’s misconceptions about Hell.

Misconception # 1
Hell is nothingness we will just cease to exist, hearing, seeing and feeling nothing.

Hell is a real place of continuous anguish. This man was not dreaming. His hell was not on earth. He was conscious and aware of his surroundings – he could feel, he could speak, experience thirst – and was in anguish. In verse twenty-four he pleads, “Father Abraham, have pity on me and send Lazarus to dip the tip of his finger in water and cool my tongue, because I am in agony in this fire.”

In fact, this is not the only place that the Bible uses vivid language to describe Hell. In Matthew 25:30, Jesus describes Hell as a place of “outer darkness where there is weeping and gnashing of teeth.” Hell is also described in the Bible as a place where the worm does not die and the fire is not quenched (Mark 9:48). In the book of Revelation the Final Judgment is described as a “lake of fire.”

Every description of Hell is one of suffering, torment and agony. In this parable we see the word “torment” used four times, and it speaks of definite pain.

Misconception # 2
Not realizing that the choices we make in this life fix our destiny in the next.

There are no second chances after death and eternity is a long time to be wrong. The bible says that ultimately every knee will bow down to Jesus Christ. For some it will be in adoration and worship and for others out of disbelief and astonishment that they were wrong. One of the most fearful horrors of hell is the undying memory of what could have been.

Misconception # 3
After I spend sometime in Hell I will be able to get out.
“And besides all this, between us and you a great chasm has been fixed, so that those who want to go from here to you cannot, nor can anyone cross over from there to us. Verse 26”

There is no purgatory, no reincarnation, no chance for relief, no way out, no end to the suffering in hell. In Hell it is too late to pray, it is too late to change your life and it is too late to repent. Hell is a place where hope is dead.

Life on earth is the opportunity to secure your eternity. Once a person passes beyond the boundaries of this world it will be too late to change anything.

Misconception # 4
Hell won’t be so bad, I’ll be there with my buddies.

"He answered, ’Then I beg you, father, send Lazarus to my father’s house, (28) for I have five brothers. Let him warn them, so that they will not also come to this place of torment.’ (29) "Abraham replied, ’They have Moses and the Prophets; let them listen to them.’ (30) ’No, father Abraham,’ he said, ’but if someone from the dead goes to them, they will repent.’ (31) "He said to him, ’If they do not listen to Moses and the Prophets, they will not be convinced even if someone rises from the dead.’ "

We don’t see the rich man reveling in fellowship with his friends, he is very much alone. He is not looking forward to his friends joining him there either. Rather he is desperate to find a way to warn them from coming there.

You can’t believe in God without believing in the devil. You can’t believe in heaven without hell. Why do you think they call it getting saved? You are being saved from the torment of a literal hell. The teachings of Jesus clearly tell us that there is an eternity. You have two choices as to where you are going to spend yours but the important thing to remember is that it is your choice.

Freedom Celebrated

Atop the hill in Washington, D.C. stands the Capitol Building of the United States of America. The cornerstone was laid in 1793, but the crowning touch, is the statue on top known as the “Freedom Lady” that was placed there in 1863. The Freedom Lady, stands nearly 20 feet tall. A crest of stars frames her face. A shield of Stars and Stripes is in her left hand.

Sculpted in Rome, “the Lady” was brought to America aboard a sailing ship. During the trip across the Atlantic Ocean, a fierce storm developed. The Captain ordered cargo thrown overboard to lighten the load. The sailors wanted to throw the heavy statue overboard, but the captain refused, shouting over the wind, “No! Never! We’ll sink before we throw ‘Freedom’ away.” And so, “Freedom” was saved, and the statue stands above the dome today, because one man stood for “Freedom.”

One word sums up America, freedom. America prides itself on her freedom. Yet many Americans have taken for granted their freedom and have forgotten the religious principles that our country was built upon.

As Christians who worship the God who granted our freedom and the many fighting men and women who have defended it there are three things we should do in celebration of freedom.

Rest in what God has done for you.

You can rest in what God has done for you, because of what Jesus has done to make us free. John writes in Revelation 1:5b, 5and from Jesus Christ, who is the faithful witness, the firstborn from the dead, and the ruler of the kings of the earth.

God is in control over all worldly leaders, and Jesus has set us free. Why worry? There is a lot of talk about the growing super power of China, or the nuclear threat of North Korea or even the latest developments in Iran, but guess what? God offers rests! He is in control.

People are trying more and more to deny the existence of God but the reality is that we wouldn’t have the United States of America if it were not for a group of people who believed in God. One reason why we confess our sins as we gather in worship is to experience this rest that God offers. Freedom is for resting in what God has done for you.

Respond with a life empowered by the Holy Spirit. Understanding freedom is a bit like understanding kite flying. If the wind is strong, the kite goes higher, and grows smaller and smaller as it tugs against the string. The harder the wind blows, the higher the kite rises. Then let’s say the string breaks! The kite is free, but no longer soars higher. It tumbles, and crashes to the ground or becomes tangled in the trees. What kept the kite airborne was the restraint of the string. When that was lost, the kite was unable to fly. We are never freed until we are restrained by something that pulls us higher and higher. It is not the absence of restraints that makes us free.

There is no freedom in life until one belongs to God. Every other form of it is an illusion. We find the freedom to achieve the greatest desires of our lives only when we live in that relationship. The loving life of freedom is lived out wisely as we follow the Holy Spirit in how we live. Paul offers us a life empowered by the Holy Spirit when he writes in Galatians 5:22-23a,

22But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, 23gentleness and self-control. Against such things there is no law.

We have been freed for resting in what God has done for us and responding with a life empowered by the Holy Spirit.


Reach out by becoming a contagious Christian.

Leviticus 25:10b , proclaim liberty throughout the land to all its inhabitants.

God has the same purpose for our lives today to proclaim liberty throughout the world that is ours through Jesus Christ. Paul reminds us we have a common need for the free gift God gives in Jesus Christ.

Romans 3:22-24,
22This righteousness from God comes through faith in Jesus Christ to all who believe. There is no difference, 23for all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God, 24and are justified freely by his grace through the redemption that came by Christ Jesus.

In a land that is free millions of people are slaves under the burden of their own guilt. Freedom is celebrated because we live in the freest country in the world but everyone, world wide, needs to be able to celebrate their spiritual freedom as well. It’s something that we all need and is available so what are you waiting for?

Ask the Pastor

Why does it seem that in today's world, people have so much trouble telling their loved ones they love them? Or to take the time and tell a friend you care about them. Fear of rejection? Too busy? Life get in the way?

Thanks!

That’s a great question! All of us have someone that we wish we would have told them how much they mean to us or how valuable their friendship was to us. I don’t know the reason we don’t say the words but I know the sorrow that can be felt when they are left unsaid. I can tell you this; you can never say it too much.

The bible tells us in Hebrews 3:13 to, “Encourage one another daily, as long as it is called today.”

There are a ton of reasons why we don’t tell people how we feel about them but none of those excuses hold water once that person is gone from our lives. To me one of the worst feelings we could experience is wondering if a person knew how much they meant to you.

Imagine how Peter felt after he denied Christ three times in the courtyard only to see Jesus crucified the next day. The Gospel of John, chapter 21, tells the story of when Jesus appeared to the disciples, after his resurrection, while they were fishing.

Peter is the first to recognize Jesus and he jumped into the Sea of Tiberias so he could be the first to greet the Risen Lord. Later on that same morning Peter and Jesus had that conversation in which Jesus asked Peter three times if he truly loved him. He gave Peter the perfect opportunity at redemption. There is no doubt that after that morning Jesus knew exactly what Peter’s feelings were towards him.

Life is opportunity! Opportunity to live and love is what we like to say. We have an abundance of time to tell those we are close to how much they mean to us. We should all make sure that we don’t live in a way that disregards the one’s we love. Because you don’t want to carry the burden of wasted opportunity.

Send your question to Ask the Pastor

A Step of Faith

There was a Pastor, who after the usual Sunday Evening Hymns, stood up, walked over to the pulpit and, before he gave his sermon for the evening, briefly introduced a guest minister who was in service that evening. In the introduction, the Pastor told the congregation that the guest minister was one of his dearest childhood friends and that he wanted him to have a few moments to greet the church and share whatever he felt would be appropriate for the service. With that, an elderly man stepped up to the pulpit and began to speak.

"A father, His son, and a friend of his were sailing off of the Pacific Coast," He began, "When a fast approaching storm blocked any attempt to get back to shore. The waves were so high, that even though the father was an experienced sailor, he could not keep the boat upright and the three were swept into the ocean as the boat capsized.

The old man hesitated for a moment, making eye contact with two teenagers who were, for the first time since the service began, looking somewhat interested in his story. The aged minister continued with his story, "Grabbing a rescue line, the father had to make the most excruciating decision of his life: to which boy he would throw the other end of the lifeline. He only had seconds to make the decision. The father knew that his son was a Christian and he also knew that his son’s friend was not. The agony of his decision could not be matched by the torrent of waves. "As the father yelled out, ‘I love you son!’ He threw out the lifeline to his son’s friend.

By the time the father had pulled the friend back to the capsized boat, his son had disappeared beneath the raging swells into the black of the night. His body was never recovered." By this time, the two teenagers were sitting up straight in the pew, anxiously waiting for the next words to come out of the old minister’s mouth. "The father," he continued knew his son would step into eternity with Jesus and could not bear the thought of his son’s friend stepping into eternity without Jesus.

Therefore, he sacrificed his son to save his son’s friend… With that the old man turned and sat back down in his chair as silence filled the room. The Pastor again walked slowly to the pulpit and delivered a brief sermon… Within minutes after the service ended, the two teenagers were at the old man’s side.

"That was a nice story," Politely stated the boys, "But I don’t think it was realistic for a father to give up his son’s life in hopes that the other boy would become a Christian." "Well, you’ve got a point there," the old man replied glancing down at the worn Bible. A big smile broadened his narrow face, he once again looked up at the boys and said, "It sure isn’t realistic, is it? But I’m standing today to tell you that the story gives me a glimpse of what it must have been like for God to give up His only son for me. You see… I was the father and your Pastor was my son’s friend."...

I have to be honest I don’t think I am willing to sacrifice any of my children for the hope that someone would come to faith in Jesus Christ. I do share my faith and I defend it without backing down but I just don’t think I could have thrown that safety line to anyone other than my child. That’s just the selfish love of a father but you know God has a selfish love for us as well. He desires to know you and spend eternity with you.

I am amazed at how many people don’t know how to share their faith with other people. I believe that there are people out there who would if they only knew a simple way to do it.

Leave it to those creative evangelism gurus to create such a method. It’s a simple acronym for the word FAITH.

F is for forgiveness.
We cannot have eternal life and heaven without God’s forgiveness. It just can’t happen! Because of the sin that you and I have in our lives we aren’t able to make it. The good news is that God recognized that and offered us redemption.

Ephesians 1:7a7In him we have redemption through his blood, the forgiveness of sins, in accordance with the riches of God's grace

A is for available.
Forgiveness is available. What’s available? Forgiveness is! It’s available for all (John 3:16) but it’s not automatic. To me the most tragic, and scary, passage of scripture is Matthew 7:21.

21"Not everyone who says to me, 'Lord, Lord,' will enter the kingdom of heaven, but only he who does the will of my Father who is in heaven.

There are going to be a lot of people who thought they could get by with just “playing religion” and find out that is not what God was looking for. A Christian isn’t something that you say or do it’s someone you become.

A relationship is what God desires and will settle for nothing less. Forgiveness is available for anyone who wants it, but you do have to accept it. Just knowing about it won’t work.

I is for impossible.
It is impossible for God to allow sin into heaven. That is why we need forgiveness and why God made it available. God is a loving God but he is also a just God. His judgment is against sin and the bible tells us that we all are guilty of sin (Romans 3:23).

How can a sinful person enter heaven when God allows no sin?

T is for turn.
Turn means repent. If we were driving down the road and you brought to my attention that I had missed the exit we would have to turn around. That is what happens to us spiritually. We turn from something—sin and self. (Luke 13:3b).

Then we turn to Someone by trusting Christ only. Romans 10:9.
9That if you confess with your mouth, "Jesus is Lord," and believe in your heart that God raised him from the dead, you will be saved.

So, what does a person get if they do that?

H is for heaven.
Heaven is eternal life. God wants you to experience it both here (John 10:10) and Hereafter (John 14:3).

How? How do I become a Christian? It’s a lot easier than you think. Just say a simple prayer like this.

“Lord, I know that I am a sinner and I have done things in my life that are not according to your plan for me. I am genuinely sorry for my sin and I ask you to forgive me and remove it from my life. I recognize Jesus Christ as your son and invite him into my life to be my Lord and Savior. I commit from this day forward to confess Jesus has my Savior and live my life according to his plan for me. Thank you Lord for my salvation and continue to teach me what it means to live as a Christian.”

The next step for you is to find a church in your area that teaches the bible and go get discipled.

Ask the Pastor

I am starting a new feature on Abundant Living called Ask the Pastor. It is based on the hunch that there are tons of people out there with tons of questions about life and religion that they would like to ask. Thanks to all of you who have submitted questions. This first one comes from somewhere in the Southwest.

1. The guy has been informed by his wife they are divorcing; she moves out, they separate.
2. The guy then meets someone new.
3. The two hit it off really well and start moving forward with their new relationship.
4. Neither of the spouses has pushed the divorce through.
5. Ages later, the wife finds out about the new girl and decides she no longer wants the divorce.
6. The guy hates being the “bad guy” so doesn’t push the divorce.
7. At the same time the guy is adamant about not loosing the new girl.
8. The new girl is left wondering “what the heck is going on?”

In accordance with “thou shalt not commit adultery” does the new person severe ties and move on? What are the ramifications if one stays in the new relationship?

Here’s the deal. A quick definition of adultery would be any type of sexual relationship outside of the confines of a marriage relationship or any type of romantic relationship with a person other than your spouse after you have been married.

Divorce does not carry a spiritual death penalty. Jesus talks about divorce in Matthew chapter 19 and even gives a biblical reason for it. That reason? Adultery, Matthew 19:9.

Adultery in any form is sin and divorce is the result a husband or wife or both allowing sin in their lives. God intended for all marriages to be permanent and divorce for any reason other than adultery is sin but we are all guilty of some kind of sin, Romans 3:23.

If this man’s wife left him then he should have tried everything in his power to make the marriage work. If there was no hope of reconciliation then the marriage should have ended officially before either of them pursued a new relationship. As long as he is still married his wife is his priority, for better or worse. Any other relationship would be adultery.

Send your question for Ask the Pastor to dolphinfan73132@yahoo.com

The Legacy of Dad

Did you know that Mother’s Day is the day of the year that the most phone calls are made as opposed to Father’s Day when the most collect phone calls are made. If you forget Father’s Day it really isn’t a big deal but if you forget Mother’s Day then you have better have an excuse along the lines of, “I’m really sorry mom but I was in the hospital on my death bed.”

Mothers and their day are held in higher regard than fathers and in my opinion rightfully so but fathers are important to the complete family unit as well. Every dad leaves behind a legacy on their family, good or bad.

American television and culture has dumbed down the father in our society. He comes across on sitcoms, movies and commercials as the person in the family who is out of touch with reality and incapable of doing anything productive in the family other than earn a paycheck and some struggle even with that.

Statistics are now proving that the removal of the value of the father in the home is contributing to the declining immorality of our nation. The reason why is that fathers are being pushed out the door and children are growing up without understanding the value and the role of a father in the home. In fact 39.6 % of the children in America are going to bed every night without their biological father in the home.

Fathers need to be reinstated to the level of importance that God intended for them! God set up the family unit with a father and a mother each doing their responsibilities in raising their kids in a way that provides the children with the most opportunity to be successful in life.

Colossians 3:18-20
18Wives, submit to your husbands, as is fitting in the Lord.
19Husbands, love your wives and do not be harsh with them.
20Children, obey your parents in everything, for this pleases the Lord.

A father must be the head of his family. A wife submitting to her husband is not an act of self-degradation but of obedience to the will of God.

In Ephesians chapter five when Paul tells husbands to love their wives the same way that Christ loved the church and gave himself for her (5:25) we get the biblical picture of marriage.

If a husband loves his wife more than himself and made her the priority of his life then there would be no issue of submission.

This passage in Colossians goes on to fulfill the responsibilities in the family by urging children to obey their parents because it pleases the Lord.

Notice that all three of these hinge on the father. Without the father properly fulfilling his responsibilities in the home the family breaks down.

When a man becomes a father, he isn’t given some sort of rulebook on how to conduct himself. Don’t you wish you had known what you know now about your children when they were born? Fathers do their best to learn “fatherhood” on the job. They learn to express love in various ways but the key word here is learn.

They learn from the examples of own father. Every boy grows up and remembers things their father did and said to them when it comes to their own children. They will apply those things in their relationships with their children good or bad. That is a father’s legacy!

A father has an awesome responsibility to his family and it’s not an easy task. That’s why Father’s Day should be a day of encouragement and appreciation to dads everywhere. A legacy is something that is passed on from generation to generation and is often difficult to get away from. That is why it’s so important that dads take their responsibilities seriously and daily work to become men of integrity and faith.

Think about this for a second dad. If you want your daughter to have a high sense of morality then you had better not be immoral because she will learn her morals from you. If you don’t want your son to be dishonest then you had better be a man of integrity because his perception of truth comes from you.

As you celebrated Father’s Day on Sunday what kind of legacy were you celebrating?

What Wives Wish Their Husbands Knew About Women

If you have been keeping up with the last few post then you know that we have already established that men and women are very different.

Understanding your wife’s differences is one of the keys to a happy and successful marriage. Your differences should be celebrated because that is what brings you together in marriage. You wife wants you to know that she is different and that she is not just, “one of the guys.”

There are some other key things that we as men need to know about women and their differences? I’ve got 3 things I want to briefly touch on.

Men, here is what your wife wishes you knew.

1) Women have a deep need for effective communication. They need to feel listened to.

John Gray says that “As a marriage counselor, the number one complaint he hears from women who come to see him is “My husband does not listen to me.”

Women primarily communicate to build relationships. They talk about feelings and emotions openly and find that talking about problems helps them feel better and helps them work things through. When they share problems, they want a sympathetic ear. They don’t want a solution.

A common mistake that men make is to try to provide a solution to our wife’s problems when she is sharing because for men, communication is very different. For Men, communication is a tool for solving problems. If you have a problem, you solve it yourself if you can, and if you can’t you talk about it to get a solution. If we do talk about other things, it is usually about things and activities. We usually hate talking about feelings and so our relationships are not based on talk, but activities.

Women need to feel as though they have been listened to. That also means giving them our full attention. Listen to what the bible says in the book of James.

James 1:19 “Everyone should be quick to listen, slow to speak.”

If we could take this verse and apply it to all of our relationships then we would experience the joy of blessed relationships. When it comes to our wives one of the most precious gifts we can give them is to listen to them because through this, we show them worth and value.

2) Women need to feel special, valued and LOVED.

One of the key differences between men and women is that men get their self esteem from achievements - getting a promotion, finishing a project, driving a nice car.

Women get their self esteem through relationships. Women feel good about themselves if others feel good about them.

Paul taught the early church that husbands are to “love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her” Eph 5:25.

Husbands it is your responsibility to make sure that your wife never feels the absence of love. You married her for a reason. You fell in love with her because she was special to you. You purposed to her because there was no other woman in the world that you would rather be with. Do you still feel that way? Do you let her know that?

3) Women need to be seen as equal partners not as slaves

The last key thing that we as men need to know about women is that they are equal partners, not our slaves. For most of human history, women have been oppressed and restricted. Until recently, a woman could be executed in Afghanistan for no more than learning how to read. Unfortunately, the Christian Church has also been guilty of treating women unfairly. In many ways the Christian community simply reflected the prevailing attitude of the entire ancient world.

All of Greco-Roman society looked at women as inferior to men. The philosopher Socrates argued that being born a woman was a punishment because a woman is halfway between a man and an animal. Women weren’t allowed to vote in ancient Greece, they had little choice over who they married, and in Roman society they aren’t allowed to be seen outside the home. Women in Jewish society didn’t fare much better. The Jewish rabbis prayed, "Thank you God for not making a woman." Jewish women were forbidden from learning the Jewish Bible. In fact, one rabbi said, "It would be better to see the...scriptures burnt than to hear its words upon the lips of women".

The attitude that women are inferior to men is a deception of Satan and it prevailed until Jesus Christ came to our world. Jesus both taught and demonstrated an entirely new attitude toward women. Jesus and the apostles taught that men and women were equal but different. Gal 3:28 says that, "There is neither Jew nor Greek, slave nor free, male nor female, for you are all one in Christ Jesus. If you belong to Christ, then you are Abraham’s seed, and heirs according to the promise."

In God’s eyes, there is no distinction in value between a man and women. It has been said that Eve was made from one of Adam’s ribs - from His side, not from his head to surpass him or his feet to be trampled upon, but from his side. She was taken from the side of man to be his equal, to go beside him, to walk with him, to help him. No where does the Bible uphold that males are in any way superior to females.

God created women to complement men. You see, guys, when we were created, we were good, but we were not complete. We needed a helper, so God created women. –

Gen 2:18 - “It is not good for the man to be alone. I will make a helper suitable for him”

In our English Language, the term “helper” often is used of a junior employee or one who is less experienced or capable. But the Hebrew word used here is of a person who works beside, complements, supports and aids. They are not inferior, they are equal. The fact that man needed a helper actually says more about the fact that man is incomplete than it does about women being a helper.

Teaching Your Children to Honor

In Exodus chapter 20 God gives the Israelites the 10 Commandments. Each one of the commandments was to be honored as holy and from the Living God. These are more than just words in a book or decorations in a court of law. The 10 Commandments are guidelines for a successful, happy and satisfied life.

I want to focus today on the 5th command because it is the first of the ten that comes with a promise.

"Honor your father and your mother, so that you may live long in the land the LORD your God is giving you.” Exodus 20:12

To honor your mother and father is the command. A long life in the land that God has provided is the promise. That is how important this command is to God. That He would actually be willing to attach a promise to it allowing us to enjoy an even better life if we keep it.

You may look at this and say to yourself that the burden of responsibility for this command is on the children and not the parents but I would encourage you to open your mind and look a little deeper at the Word of God.

Children are taught honor and respect by their parents. You cannot expect your child to honor the position that you have over them as a parent if you first don’t model to them what it is like to honor authority.

Your children’s lives are at stake here by what you teach them. This command is reinforced in the New Testament book of Ephesians but notice the verse that follows the command.

1Children, obey your parents in the Lord, for this is right. 2"Honor your father and mother"—which is the first commandment with a promise— 3"that it may go well with you and that you may enjoy long life on the earth." 4Fathers, do not exasperate your children; instead, bring them up in the training and instruction of the Lord. Ephesians 6:1-3

It is your responsibility as parents to “bring up” your children with proper life instruction. You have to instill in them honor and respect by teaching them as fundamentals of lfe.

Why? Let me give you three powerful arguments for why you should obey this commandment.

The First Reason to Obey the 5th Commandment
More than anything else, your adolescent craves your total trust. It doesn’t come natural for your teen to obey you but if you look at Ephesians 6:1-3 again you will see that the command for children to obey their parents and the command for parents to teach their children are linked.

How can your child ever respect and honor you if you never teach them what it means to respect and honor. Many parents punish their children by removing their trust but they fail to teach them how to do what is expected of them.

Author Fritz Ridenour says, "You might as well trust your teenager; you don’t have any other reasonable choice. Distrust simply breeds more distrust, but if you keep trusting your teenager, sooner or later the message will get through."
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The Second Reason to Obey the 5th commandment

The 5th Commandment has a Reciprocal Consequence

This is going to be a hard pill to swallow for some of you. God didn’t say honor your parents if they’re honorable. Nowhere does he say that respect must be earned before you have to give it. God simply calls us to give honor where honor is due and that is too our parents, for better or worse, because they are the ones who gave us life.

This means that, at the very least, you refuse to speak disrespectfully of your parents, no matter what they’ve done.

One of Grimm’s fairy tales tells of an old man who lived with his son, the son’s wife, and the young couple’s four-year-old boy. The old man’s eyes blinked, and his hands shook. When he ate, the silverware rattled against the plate, and he often missed his mouth. Then the food would dribble onto the tablecloth. This upset the young mother, because she didn’t want to have to deal with the extra mess and hassle of taking care of the old man. But he had nowhere else to live. So the young parents decided to move him away from the table, into a corner, where he could sit on a stool and eat from a bowl. And so he did, always looking at the table and wanting to be with his family but having to sit alone in the corner. One day his hands trembled more than usual; he dropped his bowl and, and broke it. “If you are a pig,” they said, “then you must eat out of a trough.” So they made the old man a wooden trough and put his meals in it.

Not long after, the couple came upon their four-year-old son playing with some scraps of wood. His father asked him what he was doing. The little boy looked up, smiled, and said, “I’m making a trough, to feed you and Mamma out of when I get big.” The next day the old man was back at the table eating with the family, from a plate, and no one ever scolded him or mistreated him again.

So you see the enormous implications of honoring your parents. We’re so disconnected from this commandment today that we have to re-learn how to honor our parents.

The Third Reason to Obey the 5th Commandment

Living with honor for others equips you for all of life.

When God first gave this commandment to his people, he told them one of its purposes. “If you want to live a long and good life in the land I’m giving you, honor your parents.” The negative implication is that if they fail to honor their parents, they’ll be expelled from the land.

By learning to respect parental authority, one learns to respect the authority or other superiors, such as teachers, ministers, policemen, and state and federal officials.

Dr. Laura Schlessinger writes writes in her book The 10 Commandments: The Significance of God’s Laws in Everyday Life; “Parents are teachers of faith and morality. What God is to the world, parents are to their children. Unfortunately, some parents become so focused on the element of friendship or their own convenience, comfort, self-fulfillment, happiness, or love life that they forget their job is to help mold moral character so their children will have the strength to do what is right in a world that sometimes encourages them to do otherwise.”